Monday, 16 February 2009

• 15 Minutes of Fame.. or not

  A reporter from the Clarion Ledger interviewed me the other day on "my thoughts about O'Bama and his quest to stimulate the economy and whether i thought he would succeed or not" I got to truly sit down with this woman and express my beliefs about America and it's rebellion against God.  How it doesn't matter who is in the White House, Until God is head of this country it will continue to decline. It may get better temporarily but it only temporarily. So i went on and on and eventually the reporter stopped writing. She was just listening. She contined to ask me questions about this and that. I could tell by the look in her face that she wasn't expecting those words to come out of my mouth.   She asked me what I did "i'm just a cashier in a retail store" She asked for my picture and I said. "No way hosea!" i was not dressed to have my picture in the paper. she left disappointed because she couldn't run the story without my picture which i think was silly.  now i'm wondering if i made the right decision.
  
  I've had a terrible week of confrontation with myself. Truths have been revealed and feelings have been hurt. Will i ever get over this superficial nonsense to be used radically by God? Why must i continue to do the same crap over and over. Why can't i just not do it? I can't grow spiritually because I'm in the way! It's really frustrating and disappointing. I do what I always do when things get bad. I'm itching to run.. I have contemplated moving several times this week. Just start over somewhere else. Everyday it looks better and better. The hard part is actually staying put and riding it out. I have run to much and for to long.  It never changes, i'm always there.. with my same old crap. my selfishness, my lack of ability to love others, my complaining bitter spirit, my drama, just in a different zip code.
  
  
  
  

  • 2:30 AM
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